TGIF!!! This One's For Ash!

Finger Lickin' Good!!!

Katie and Tom have been working around the clock to teach Suri how to communicate with her home planet Xenu! Nah, she's just telling the Papps where to go! Work it girl!

God Bless America

I just wanted to take a minute to remember 9/11 and the all the people who lost their lives and the friends and family that survived them. I am holding them close to my heart today, as I'm sure every other American is doing the same.

Below are photos of the war ship USS New York, which was built from the scrap metal of the World Trade Centers and made in to a Navy ship that is dedicated to fighting terrorism.

TGIF!!!

Phelps In Training!!!

Now that the Olympics are over Aquaman... I mean Michael Phelps has put his flippers away and is looking for a new sport to get gold. I'm assuming that's what he's doing here at the Playboy Club in Las Vegas. I've heard he's petitioning the IOC to make "Ass Grabbing" an official Olympic sport that could be played at BOTH the winter and summer games! Good Luck Michael!!!

Lovin' The Duchovin'!!!

OK, so it's old news that Davey D. has entered rehab for sex addiction, but stories are leaking like a broken faucet all over the internet. First it was reported by a "friend" (PR spinbot is more like it) that Dave liked to surf the net and diddle his doodle. Reports are now surfacing that he put his doodle in more sockets then just online!!! Women are coming forward and sharing their seX-Files with the world.

Well not to get left out, here's my story... I had a friend who worked on the movie "Evolution." She told me that Dave's wife was calling constantly to find out if the D man was hooking up while on set. His personal trainer was fired mid-way thru the shoot and a man was brought in to buff Dave up (I guess instead of off)! I went to the "Evolution" premiere and as I passed him by the bar, he goosed my bottom! I was like Marsha Brady when Desi Arnez, Jr. kissed her cheek, but instead I was like "I will never wash this butt cheek again."

No More White Elephants!!!

This is every woman's dream -- a website to custom pick a gift for you! You don't have to even get married or have a baby... It's like registering for your life!! Sign this bitch up!


Pete Cashmore reveals the worst gift he's ever given! from PerkettPR on Vimeo.

Kill Speidi!!! Part 1,120,652

After several requests for a kill Speidi post, I must oblige.

I love you all for reminding me everyday that these two a-holes deserve to die!!!

p.s. I'm running out of serial killers. I'm taking requests!

TGIF!!!

Vanilla Ice Is Going To Schling A Schlong!

Just got done watching Vanilla Ice's opus "Cool As Ice" and I'm convinced without a shadow of a doubt that it is the best worst movie of all time!!! Quotable factor... a perfect 10!

"Drop that zero and get with the hero!"
"I'm gonna go across the street and, uh, schling a schlong."
"You're not wasting my time, I'm just cooling."
"Being true to yourself, you ain't true to nobody. Live your life for someone else, you ain't livin'!"
"It ain't where your from, it's where you at."
"Yep, yep"

Not to mention (and I'm going to get completely reamed for this) Ice is super hot in this film!!! For those of you laughing your ass off right now, set your tivo and get back to me. Yeah, he's a total douche not going to argue that and his clothes are without a doubt neon fresh -- but, kids, he's f-ing gorgeous!

Have We Finally Gone Too Far???

China isn't the only country recruiting the underage!!! It has come to my attention the the US Government has been recruiting soldiers on the hit show Seasme Street!!! The producers of the show claim they had no idea that Cookie Monster was secretly sending messages to children telling them to join the military to fight in the Iraq War!

Actually this is a pic of my niece and nephew, Halle and Justin, dressed in our fam's military garb. Both my cousin and her husband are in the Middle East fighting for our country. Love to Jen and Josh for their dedication fighting for freedom and the American Way!

"Don't Say Noffin"

This one goes out to Tay Tay!

Dancing With The Stars Goes Bat Wild!

Rumor has it Adam West is thinking about joining "Dancing With The Stars!" This will be the best coup since Jerry Springer! Rock on Batman!

No Protesters Allowed!!!

So I drove past the premiere of "Tropic Thunder" the other nite (I was circling the block while my hubby was picking up a pizza at LaMonicas in Westwood -- p.s. for those of you who live in LA, LaMonicas is the best frigging pizza on the westside) and I noticed a huge wall of hedges. I was like WTF??? Turns out a bunch of Special Olympic protesters were there putting the kibosh on the swanky star studded premiere! Can you imagine the red carpet lined with protesters from the Special Olympics? Tres gauche!!

The worst part??? Robert Downey Jr. fans didn't get to see the stash make it's way down the red carpet! Luckily the paps were there to save the day on that one.

Simon le Douche!

After all these years Simon le Bon is still a total creepy weirdo! Get your hand out of your speedos. I love the swimmers goggles and sagging boobs. It totally adds to the whole picture!!! Listen, I'm not going to lie, I was a total Durany in the 80s. That said I totally fancied John Taylor (which may even be gayer, I'm not sure... I'm going to need a ruling on that).Is JT sporting a mullet?

The Haimster Is Back... Back On Crack!!!

This has to be one of my fav vids of the month. Not only is Corey snorting druggos in his trailer, the Feldog is in full Frog Brother gear -- love the Latoya Jackson headband. FIERCE!!!

Also, watch for the Haimster's cracked out dance when he finally reaches the set. He's all over the place. Crazy Crack Head!

Guess Who's Got A Bun In The Oven???

Alison Sweeney, who plays Sammi the former up to no gooder on our fav soap Days of Our Lives, is preggers with her second child!!! While taping an episode of The Biggest Loser, Alison told them “in a season about family, (mine) is about to get bigger.”

We, here at Hey You Guys wish Alison the best and can't wait for her to be a mommy again. Also, we can't wait for her alter-ego Sammi to dump Lucas (aka the Turtle) and get back together with the oh so hot EJ (pictured below just for shiz and giggs).

Casper Buys His Groceries Just Like Us!

I stopped off at PC Greens in Malibu last night to pick up some organic all natural no hormone crap when who did I spy pulling up in his sporty silver Mercedes??? Casper Van Dien aka Hottie McHot Hot! He's a little short for my taste, but still super cute. He was wearing a red T-shirt and blue shorts. In his basket... blue corn chips and cheese. No pic as of course I left my phone in the car! I am the worst blogger of all time. Oh well!

TGIF!!!

A Couple That Does Yoga Together Stays Together!

Our very own Celeb Super Snooper, Tay Tay was at Yogahop (the studio in Santa Moncia on Montana) where she did hip hop yoga right NEXT to Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Tay tells me that Reese was a hip hop yoga pro, but Jake's moves needed a little work. The celebs left halfway thru the class, as I am sure our own gossip guru was making them uncomfortable. Reece was sporting a black cut off tank top along with black Nike pants with the white stripe. Jake was wearing an old white t-shirt and blue Addidas shorts and a baseball cap (Tay thinks Red Sox). Tay also went on to tell me that they were SUPER cute together and very in love! AWWWWW!

Of course, here at HYG we have no cell phones with cameras so we just have to describe it the best we can. It's that ghetto-licious!

TGIF!!!!

Twitter Whore!

OMG! It's been like a hundred years since my last posting. LOL!

Tori and Dean!!

It's a bird... It's a plane... naw, it's just Tori and Dean!

So I guess these "Tori & Dean" sky writings were all over town. I was getting my latte at Starbucks when I saw this. Unfortunately, I only had my camera phone, so I had to piece together the photos so you can see the whole thing. I'm wondering if the expectant mom finally popped or is this just another publicity stunt since nobody cares who they are anymore?

Seperated At Birth!!!

It has been brought to my attention (thank you, Assley) that convicted murderer Scott Peterson looks a lot like Bryan Dattilo from Days of Our Lives (who we affectionately call the Turtle)! Note to the producers at DOOL, is there any way to take out the sound of Bryan's nose whistle? It is very distracting.

I'm sorry Dean Cain move over, Turtle should have been cast in that remake.

Just A Shout Out To A Special Friend!

Love you, Missy!

Dina Lohan Actually Appeared In Court Today!

I think her peeps told her she was getting another bullshiz mother of the year award when hot tranny mess Dina Lohan showed up at the courthouse and realized she had to deal with blabber-mouth ex-hubby Michael. P.S. was it not high-larious that Dina was celebrating herself at some party when the house was on fire and the kids were home alone? My fav was when 10-year-old brother was the only one with any sense to call the flipping fire dept. All I have to say is I lost brain cells watching "Living Lohan" that I will never get back. Thanks to the Lohans for making me even more stupid!

Coco's Freak Of The Week!!!

Okay, so this is Matt Hooker aka Nicole Kidman's stalker!!! A while back he was going to run for President of the United States in 2004. Unfortunately, he was too busy being crazy to actually run for office. However, here is a high-larious article on Mr. Hooker on why he should run for Governor... http://blacktable.com/zulkey030904.htm

This dude is so bat shiz crazy that he used to have entire websites dedicated to the voices in his head. Sadly, he has taken them all down. But luckily here is a snippet:

E! Online reported on July 18th that Hooker had claimed he himself is being stalked... by Ben Affleck. In a rambling statement on his beautifulbutdangerous.com Web site, Hooker claims that Affleck has stalked him 5 times, generally wearing a fake moustache and "dressed like a Frenchman." The statement details alleged stalking and conspiracies by various others, such as a guy who beat him up in high school. He claims these conspirators are intent on harrassing him, stealing ideas from him and discrediting him, and that "a group of pot and cocaine users has it out for me."

Hooker also claimed that magician David Copperfield had also been stalking him.

On a personal note: This guy used to be my tutor in jr. high... no lie! Also, my nanny was on America's Most Wanted. I'm not sure if my mom is the best judge of character. But whateves! It sure explains a lot about me though :)

Bill Murray A Crazy Abusive Hubby??? No Way! Okay, Maybe A Little!

Bill Murray's wife of 11 years, Jennifer, is divorcing him on the grounds that he smokes pot and drinks a lot. Oh and may smack her around! Pssshhh! Bitch, that's nothing... walk a day in David Gest's shoes when he was married to Liza. Remember how she would throw vodka bottles at his head!!! Gotta love Liza!

Any hooters, the soon to be ex-Mrs. Murray claims that he hit her in the face and said "You're lucky I don't kill you!" Then allegedly skeedaddled off to Europe and slept with a bunch of hookers. I'm not sure, but this smells a lot like the wifey's pissed she signed a pre-nup that gives her basically nothing and she's trying to Denise Richards her way out of it!!!

This is Hollywood, lady... suck it up!

Thanks to Eric for bringing this story to my attention :)

Manbabies???

This website just landed in my inbox and I thought I would share it with the world!!

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back To Bed!!!

Some poor kid in England was just trying to catch some Zs when he was attacked by a shark!! Okay, so that's not exactly how it happened, but it sounds good. For reals, this teenage sleepwalker took a midnight stroll and walked right into the teeth of a dead souvenir shark from a family vacation. Ouch!

The teeth left blood pouring from the teen’s face, his mother, Susan, told Metro.co.uk.

“It was like something out of a horror film,” she said. “The shark must have been embedded in Sam's cheek for about 15 minutes and he was in a lot of pain.”

In the end, Hawthorne came away with only a small scar. “It was the most frightening experience of my life!"

I'll bet!

TGIF!!!

And The Hijinx Ensues With "Buford's Beach Bunnies"!!!

Buford's Beach Bunnies Trailer - Free videos are just a click away
So this was one of those movies I used to stay up late and watch on USA Up All Nite!!! Tom Hanks' brother stars in the movie as Buford (Forest Gump 1.0) who eventually bangs a bunny! Enjoy the trailer!

"Ob La Di, Ob La Da... Life Goes On"

Corky from "Life Goes On" is in a band!!! Loves it! Precious moments right here, folks!

There is a rumor about a Christmas album, but I was unable to find it online. If anyone knows where to find the elusive Corky Christmas album, let me know!

AAAHHHHH!!! Trainwreck!

This pic of the Olsen twins is so frightening I had to post it! Mary Kate is turning into a troll, while Ashley seems to be growing into a semi attractive woman.

Scandal-alert:
A source told OK! (via The Scoop), “The barista (at their local Starbucks) thought the Olsens were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat."

Personally, I think the barista was putting ugly sauce in MK's coffee! I'm going to be afraid to look under my bed tonite!!

And The American Idol Is...

Thank God!!!

Rehab Is For Quitters!!!

Another one bites the dust kids! Aerosmith frontman, Stephen Tyler has checked in to rehab. Honestly, he's an old timer... he should fly to Germany, have his blood transfused and then get back in the crack pipe saddle! I mean that's what Keith Richards would do. Rehab? Et tu, Stephen... et tu???

2gether At Last!!

He's been rumored to have worn a wedding dress when getting married to David Geffen in Malibu... She's a Rodeo Drive shoplifting felon... together, they're Hollywood's newest super couple!!!

According to Star mag, the two have been canoodling on the set of their new film "Pippy Longstocking Goes To Hell"... I mean "The Privates Lives of Pippa Lee" - awww, same thing! A source said they are always in each other's trailers. The source went on to say, "They are also always hugging on the set. The chemistry is really electric." Electric??? Let's get real, the only time Keanu ever had chemistry was with all the dudes in "Much Ado About Nothing" -- and if it couldn't get any better, someone made a vid of this ghastly, yet homo-erotic performance.



Anywho, Mazel tov to the happy couple!

Sick and Wrong!!!

I'm already regretting this post as I write about a new book called "No Regrets: The Best, Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever"!!! Above is probably the most ridiculous drunken nightmare of all time. I would rather wake up next to dead hooker in a hotel room in TJ than end up with this following me around my entire life. This tattoo is my Jacob's Ladder!

TGIF!!!

Viva Groove Tube!

Seperated At Birth!!!

Is is just me or does Work Out's Erika Jacobson more than resemble Angelina Jolie? The weird part? No one on the show EVER mentions it! Even weirder??? Erika has this bad self image of herself. If I looked in the mirror everyday and looked like Angie, I'd be like "to everyone in the world... suck it!"

The Gloves Are Off... Er, On!!

So it is down to the bottom two on American Idol... David Cook, the 25-year-old bartender from Blue Springs, MO and David Archuleta, the 17-year-old Mormon from Murray, Utah! Who will snatch the title??? Will it be David or David???

Honestly, I think Cook should take the crown, but with all the Disney tweeners out there, Archuleta could win the whole tamale!!!

When Bitchy Goes Wrong!!!

So, last week on Bravo's hit show "Work Out" (side note: I'm obsessed with this show) the shiz hit the fan when lesbian gym guru and star of WO, Jackie Warner, and her assistant Omarosa... I mean Lisa... made some snotty remarks about a client's boobs. It turns out the client's boyfriend heard the conversation and informed the two gossip girls that his girlfriend was a breast cancer survivor -- OOOOOPPPSSS!!!

According to assistant Lisa's blog, she claims "I apologized for the exact words I used immediately after her boyfriend walked out of the office. Her boyfriend was totally cool and understood, but wanted an apology from Jackie and not on behalf of her, as he overheard her making comments as well."

When the trainer of the client, Brian Peeler, confronted Jackie, she told him to get his shiz and get out! Well, that is exactly what Gatorade has told Jackie when they pulled their sponsorship of the show!!! It's a bitch when Karma comes back on you so quickly!

Jackie claims that she never said anything and it was all Lisa and the producer's editing and Peeler painting her the villain. Next she will be blaming global warming.

Ms. Warner needs immediate crisis media training for this issue. She needs to apologize on behalf of her gym and its employees and give free training to breast cancer patients around the world. Hey, it worked for Dog the Bounty Hunter. Remember "Santa Dog"???

And They Say Brit Brit Can't Multi-Task!!!

It may not be rocket science, but I find this progress!!! What's next? Gorging Cheetos while cooking up moonshine? Dreams can come true!

My only question: how is it she looks thin one day and preggers the next? Photo faux pas or living in her own fun house mirror? I don't give a crap... Go Team Brit!

Wish I Was Fishing!

Sorry y'all (suddenly I'm from Texas) that I've been home sick since Friday :(

I will be back tomorrow!!!

TGIF!!

One of my fav songs from the 80s! Enjoy!!!

Is Nick A Dick?

I have to be honest when this whole Nick Hogan crashing the car thing started I was def carrying a torch in the mob lynch, but now that I heard he plead "no contest" and asked for his punishment... I'm starting to feel like he's not such a monster after all. Don't get me wrong, he's still a complete douche, but a douche with some heart. Unlike his skanky tranny sister who wore her latest get up from Tramps R Us to court... this beyatch is all class saying "It's hard being a celebrity."

Anyway, before being sentenced, Nick said "I'll never, ever be able to tell John 'sorry' enough times to make up for what happened on Aug. 26. I loved John to death. He was like my oldest brother and my best friend. I'm ready to take my punishment."

And he will serve 8 months in prison, a suspended his drivers license for 3 years, 5 years probation, 500 hours of community service and he cannot drink during his probation (no way Nick will be able to pull this off) and have to complete a booze education program within the year.

Oh, why couldn't it have been Brooke???

Kill Speidi!!! Part... Six I Think?

Many requests have been made for more Kill Speidi and I have no problem filling the demand. I am now taking requests for killers, so feel free. This pic of Pet Cemetery's Gabe was sent to me, so who am I not to give Gabe a chance to finish the job so many before him could not. Good luck, Gabe. May the evil demons be with you!!!

The World Is Going To Pot... Part Three!

Sick and wrong, folks! According to the Houston Chronicle, two idiot jouvies went to a cemetery, dug up a corpse, decapitated it and then lit up using the head as a bong!

The dickheads below, Matthew Gonzalez and Kevin Jones have been charged with the misdemeanor offense of "abuse of a corpse"... WTF? So basically anyone can just dig up a body and do ANYTHING to it and it's all just some lousy misdemeanor. The dead really have no rights at all.

Valtrex, Anyone???

So I got this tip from a VERY reliable source that I promised not to reveal -- but apparently these kooky Dawson's Creek kids passed herpes among themselves so much, they created a Hollywood Super Strain!

I honestly think you can't be famous in Hollywood anymore unless you have a super strain of herpes. Luckily, they are easily obtained. Paris' super herps are so super you can catch them just by standing next to her!!! Don't take it from me, there are about a million satisfied customers.

Amy Winehouse In The Big House!!!

Amy Wino has been arrested for possession! GASP!!! I can't believe this! It's time to get Wino on Celebrity Rehab and be done with this shiz!

Allegedly she was brought into Scotland Yard for questioning, when the officer popped in a tape of her smoking crack and snorting coke. Dude, everyone saw that on YouTube like 5 years ago! I'm not sure Scotland yard is too up on things. I think they are waiting for Sherlock Holmes to cruise in and solve the case!

I'm wondering if she and Blake can get conjugals even though they are both in jail. Also, I have to discuss the below pic... WTF??? She's wearing pull-ups and a do rag -- not to mention the jar of mayo which I'm going to ignore as it's just too freaky to think about what she's going to use it for. I'm assuming from all the drug use, she's forgotten how to brush her nasty weave and use the potty!

High-larious Castro Disastro!!!

So tonite on Idol, Paula's drunken antics were upstaged by Jason Castro and his mighty bong!!! Not making the case for medical marijuana, Castro totally bit the doobie tonite with his high-jinx! The first song was like a bad karaoke nightmare that has caused earthquakes with Bob Marley rolling in his grave!!! No more baking special brownies for this little man! Later, dudster!

What Up With Ho's Bein' On Da Shows!!!

The trend has begun for young troublemakers to guest star on television. Brit Brit first introduced the concept of mean girl gone good on "How I Met Your Mother" a few weeks ago which sent ratings thru the roof. Not so much that she did that good of a job. I think most people tuned in to see if the Britster was going to pull a cheeto out of her ass and talk in a british accent. Now she is set to reprise her role as the relationship challenged receptionist.

Following in her DUI footsteps is Lindsey Lohan who is going to appear on the hit show "Ugly Betty." Good news for Betty views, LiLo is a halfway decent actress. Let's just hope LiLo stays sober to make it thru. Rumor has it that she's already 20 sheets to the wind. Stay tuned!Partial photo credit to Worth1000.com for Lilo's cross-eyed appearance. I could have done my own but this one was so funny I decided to use it instead.

Update: actual pic of Lilo on Ugly Betty.

Wait... This Isn't Brit Brit???

With that skank ass weave and those dimpled cheeks, I was sure this was Miss Spears! To my surprise it is OC alum and pot smoker extraordinaire, Misha Barton! Now we know the truth why she turned down the role on "Gossip Girl!" Girl, it is time to put down the bong and start working out.